4 Words that Have Kept Me Down

Life is too short — sorry, I make life too short with my worries. Let me be specific…I worry too much about what my friends and family think when I try something new.

When I gave college a shot, I told a friend that I was interested in PR or marketing. She responded with, “No, you don’t wanna do that. You’re not outgoing enough, or cute-blonde-female enough.”

I reluctantly studied accounting and never finished because I hated it so much.

Things are Changing #

These days, I’m trying to step out a little more. But I’m sick of taking baby steps. I want to take giant freaking leaps. It’s just tough to break out of the circle my family and friends drew me into.

The saddest part is they don’t even know they’re holding the chalk.

There are words I want to write, trips I want to take, projects I want to promote, people I want to associate with. But I hesitate because of these 4 words:

That’s just not him

But who are they to decide what’s outside or inside the circle of me? It’s my damn circle. I’ll make it bigger, smaller, or move it across the world if I want. I’ll even make it a damn parallelogram if I please.

The Problem with Friends & Family #

I’m pissed off. But not at my friends or family. They aren’t aware of what they’re doing. Their only concern is that I’m safe and comfortable. Because when I’m safe and comfortable, they can feel the same.

I’m pissed off at myself for not being brave.

And if I’m honest with myself, I do the same thing to them. My younger brother started to step outside of the circle I drew for him a few years ago.

I criticized him.

Thankfully, he’s more brave than me. He stuck with his heart and hasn’t looked back.

The problem with friends and family is that they know us as we are. They are invested in maintaining us as we are. The last thing we want is to remain as we are. — Steven Pressfield, Do the Work