Our Roles as Comforters

Sometimes we think we know what’s most important. We charge through the days as prioritized souls. All is well . Until, someone we love experiences deep loss.

All at once, the eyes fragment and recalibrate, priorities now seem glaringly out of order, all of life is both confusing and yet completely logical, every emotion is sharp yet dull.

Our new role is comforter.

The worst we can do as comforters is offer up platitudes too quickly. Those are useful much later in the process.

They’re rarely helpful when grief is raw.

In the beginning, we must let the grieving simply feel. Whatever that means to them is what’s allowed. Our only job as comforters is to walk alongside them as they feel.

We’re to protect their space and time from distractions, misguided counsel, self-destructive behaviors.

There are invaluable gifts that come from walking through grief. We can’t allow our grieving friends to rush through the process. Some will want to distract themselves until the pain in dull enough to make it through the day.

But the pain exposes connections previously missed. It brings to mind what’s truly important. It recalls a depth of emotion that some haven’t felt in years.